February 29, 1964

Hello darling -

     Dig that date !  Tomorrow is March 1st !  I expect that March will fly by as my operetta goes on March 17, and from March 18th at 2:30 p.m. we are off until April 4th.  I'm going to spend a few days in Abadan with fat Nina then return to good old Agha jari for the rest of the vacation.  Jesus.  It looks as though this molly hopping year might even pass eventually.  It makes me feel as though it will anyway because report cards come out again on March 18th.  We give them out 3 times a year, so this must mean we are a short way from being 2/3rds over. 

     Another teacher threw in the towel as of March 18th.  They don't go for that too much, when you pull that on them for some unbelievable reason.  I guess I told you my resignation was accepted "with regret" and that they are paying me through August 18th, which I adore at these prices.  As of a few days ago, I am the proud possessor of $2500 in my two savings accounts.  Too bad this isn't a decent job - the pay isn't hard to take at all.  But I've really had it with children.  I've had 7 years of them, and Christ that's enough.  I'm sick to death of children.  Did I tell you that I can't get distemper shots for Miss Greentree here?  I hope to Allah she doesn't get it before I can get her to the USA and the shots for it.

     If I send her home, I'll send her as late as possible in June so that she won't be on your neck too long before I get there, and also so that she won't be without her fat mother for too long.  I don't know Sally.  Listen, my gorgeous darling, if I come home this summer and find you completely transformed by all this attention from men into a thorough girl, I'll clean up the joint.  Now I suppose I'll have to change into a boy!  Naturally my kids couldn't do anything right.

     I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I have been in the best of health for the past few days.  The temperature has climbed to the low 80's now - in preparation for the longest, hottest, mothering last 14 weeks that anyone could face, I'll wager.  Mother of God protect us from April 1st on.  Incidentally, if you have any questions or moot points you would like a lengthy discussion of an intellectual nature, please submit them before April 1st.  forget human intelligence (mine at least) when the temperature zooms over the 100 mark which it does here quite nicely by April 1st thank you.

     By May, it's in the 120's as a daily average.  Then we get the 130's.  Then you can really forget Carolyn until June 25th when she lands her fat carcass in Europe.  Sixteen and 1/2 weeks to go until then my skinny beloved.  It was once 44 !  That means that 4/11 of the time remains.  That (to folks who write thin master's theses in arithmetic) - is slightly under 1/3.

     You might find it interesting from the view point of medical history that I have a case of the wiggles that would vie successfully with any dog in heat.  Have you ever seen anyone with severe wiggle-itise try the only humane thing and fail at it?  Until you have, you may keep your comparisons to yourself, Missy.

     In about one more month, I can begin to plan my trip home!  Summer schedules come out around April 1st - at least the airlines do.  I'm going to try for a London to Chicago flight.  I don't know whether there be such a thing but they have them from Copenhagen to Dallas, London to Las Angeles etc.  Maybe there is a London to Chicago flight.  I hope so.  That would save hours in that fucking Idlewild waiting for a Chicago flight.  Jesus, I wish I could go Agha Jari - Iowa City but I'm afraid both places come under Talulah Bankhead:  wonderful category of "Places known only to God and Rand McNally.  Well say a little prayer for Persian Gulf Desert inhabitants as the brief winter period draws to a close.  You'll be happy to know that March 21st brings in the year 1343 to the Islamic world.  That makes it about right.  They are just about exactly 621 years behind the western world.  (Had I written that on a postcard, I could have beaten this letter home.)

     OK, so sit down and write your fat pen pal a letter this minute.  She's very lonesome - wants to do it with one tall grey haired skinny girl__, boy___ (check one).

     I love you darling,

    Carolyn
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